Are you dreaming of packing your bags and moving halfway across the world? As a Black American woman, navigating the complexities of moving abroad—especially as an unmarried, child-free, middle-aged woman—comes with unique challenges and opportunities.
Today, I’m sharing my story of moving to Rwanda in East Africa during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, what I learned, and how this experience might support your own expat dreams.
In January 2022, I embarked on a journey that many dream of but hesitate to take. Armed with a 10-year visa, I left the gray, cold winters of Seattle behind and moved to Rwanda—a country I had barely considered before. The idea sparked from a casual connection I made years earlier in Thailand. She described Rwanda as clean, safe, and incredibly proactive during the pandemic, which immediately caught my attention.
Rwanda stood out for its:
These factors made Rwanda seem like the perfect place to plant roots—or so I thought.
Living in Rwanda had its joys and challenges. I loved my spacious five-bedroom house, my amazing household manager Lydia (who became a lifeline during my time there), and the ability to afford luxuries like weekly massages and monthly stays at the Marriott Kigali for a bathtub soak.
But not everything aligned with my long-term needs. Here’s what I learned:
While Rwanda is peaceful and polite, it’s not a socially open or invitational culture. For someone who thrives on community and belonging, the lack of accessible social opportunities made my experience feel isolating. Most expats fell into three categories:
As someone who is social yet solo, this made it difficult to cultivate the connections I craved.
Beyond the social aspects, the energy of a place matters. For me, Rwanda felt energetically barren. The intergenerational vibrancy I love—spending time with elders and experiencing collective joy—was missing, likely due to the lasting effects of the 1994 Genocide.
While Rwanda offered sustenance, the cuisine didn’t inspire me. As a Taurus sun, I value food as an art and a joy. Similarly, while the country is beautiful, it lacked the spontaneous joy and warmth I’ve found in places like Cuba, Ghana, or India.
After nearly a year, a medical crisis required me to leave Rwanda. Though the healthcare system had been helpful during smaller issues, I needed a more robust infrastructure for surgery and recovery. Ultimately, this experience clarified what I need in a home abroad:
If you’re considering moving abroad, here are some key questions to guide your journey:
One of the greatest privileges of being an American is access to a powerful passport. While it’s essential to avoid exploiting that privilege, it’s also important to leverage it thoughtfully. Whether you’re dreaming of living in Rwanda, Thailand, or beyond, the world is yours to explore.
If you’re ready to take the leap but feel overwhelmed by the logistics, I can help. Book an Insight Hour Call with me, and we’ll dive into your unique questions about relocating abroad, navigating challenges, and creating a life that truly resonates with you.
Living abroad is not about finding perfection—it’s about experimenting, exploring, and discovering what works for you. Rwanda taught me invaluable lessons, and while it wasn’t my forever home, it was an essential step in my journey.
Have you thought about moving abroad? Where would you go if you could live anywhere in the world? Share your thoughts below—I’d love to hear your story.
Let’s keep dreaming, exploring, and designing lives that honor our unique callings.
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