I grew up in a home of material stability and recurrent emotional chaos. To the outside world, everything was pristine. Inside was frequently a different story.
To maintain the illusion, I was expected to keep my trauma silent and was shamed when I named it.
While there was steady love and joy, when it came to the consistent in-house trauma, there was also —
Denial of reality.
Dismissal of harm.
Ignoring of incidents + impact.
Gaslighting in every direction.
When I was 21, I started seeking support to navigate the aftermath of my childhood instability and insanity.
I needed a voice of validation outside of myself to affirm that I wasn’t exaggerating or making things up or blowing my experience out of proportion.
I needed someone to say, “That makes sense. I hear you. Your feelings and needs are valid. And I’m sorry that happened.”
I needed someone to honor my experience without force-feeding compassion.
I needed someone to help me recenter myself in my own life.
Sometimes this was weekly therapy.
Other times it was spiritual ceremonies, workshops, retreats, circles, conversations and silence.
Sometimes healing was a cool drink of water in a dry and desolate desert.
Other times it was clawing at the earth for stable ground, or desperately doggy paddling beneath the shoreline to stay afloat.
It isn’t consistently comfortable.
It doesn’t usually happen with or in close proximity to those who harmed us.
It isn’t sanitized or sweet.
It doesn’t “look” like crystals or sage or…anything in particular.
It cannot be purchased in a store, online or with cryptocurrency, no matter how much you have in the bank.
Just like physical wounds, cleaning out emotional wounds is essential for true healing, even when it’s ugly and painful.
And so we heal in the midst of discomfort with some days, some seasons, some years being harder than others.
We learn to rest.
We learn to listen to our bodies.
We learn to trust ourselves.
We learn to create healthy boundaries.
We learn to hold people accountable.
We learn to let grown folks take care of themselves.
We learn to walk away.
We learn to recognize healthy love.
We learn to receive only that.
We learn to center our own well-being.
We learn that everyone from our roots will not make it to the fruit.
The more we continue healing, the more stable we feel.
The more stable we feel, the more intimately we know the Divine.
The more intimately we know the Divine, the more clearly we see ourselves.
The more clearly we see ourselves, the more we love our lives.
The more we love our lives, the more access we have to everything we desire.
All at the same damn time.
Wherever you are on your journey, sending you infinite love, joy, ease and freedom. Keep going.
There’s a bright shining light and the end of the tunnel…and it’s you. 💜
This is where mystics gather.
Goddess Frequency is the revolutionary mystery school + spiritual community for effortlessly embodying wealth, ease and freedom.